I came across this new Nike ad while going through my daily routine of browsing Yahoo news stories when I’m bored. It is for their “Write the Future” campaign and features many stars from this summer’s World Cup (which starts in less than a month) and Ronaldinho, who didn’t make Brazil’s team. Needless to say, it is 3 minutes and 3 seconds of pure awesomeness and I really think you’ll enjoy it whether you’re a fan of soccer or not. Plus, in the words of Riane Tara Graham, soccer players are hot. So here it is:
I just found this cool site that looks like it could be extremely helpful when writing a paper for school. You simply enter in your title, type of paper, and the paper itself and it gives you some really good tips on how to improve it. It goes farther than an actual spell checker and looks at your grammar, style, word choice, and even originality (to check plagiarsim). It should be really helpful if you really need to get that A in AP English next year. Here is the website: paperrater.com
I want you to look at this image and tell me (or just think to yourself) what you see.
I willing to put good money, that unless you are a 5 year-old kid, you saw two people in a passionate embrace. This image is just to show how we lose our innocence as we grow up. Most young children cannot even see the two people; instead they see 9 gray dolphins. Can you find them? They’re pretty obvious when you know they are there. Now it’s possible that the title of my post influenced you to see the less than chaste portion image, but let’s be honest, who actually saw the dolphins first and the people second? Noone.
In case you hadn’t heard, I have a huge gash in my head that when al the way down to my skull and required 20 stitches. Here’s how it happened: Thursday morning, I was driving to school early for football practice. On the way thre, some asshole was tailgating me. I was already in a pissy mood, so I flipped him off. Little did I know that this guy was crazy. He sped up and went into the other lane to pass me and then stopped short. I had to slam on my brakes, and then he got out of his car. Some shit was about to go down. He looked wild with anger. I got out of my car too, not wanting to be a coward. He opened his trunk, and pulled out a baseball bat. I was like, oh damn. But, I wasn’t about to be a pansy and run away. So, I stood my ground. He came at me, and I got a couple punches in before he laid me out with a bat to the head. I laid on the pavement bleeding profusely from my head, and he drove away with lightning speed. I’m pretty sure he thought he’d killed me. But that sucker wasn’t strong enough, so I got myself up and drove to the ER. They stitched me up, and called the police. They got there and took my statement. Two hours later, they called and said they caught the guy. He’s in jail now, so he can’t hurt anyone else. Just kidding, I ran into a lacrosse goal. The End. (Scroll down for pictures…if you have a strong enough stomach.)
So I was stumbling around the interwebs and I found this interesting website. It allows you to input certain information about yourself such as: gender, height and weight (to calculate BMI), age, and country of origin. The compouter uses these numbers to come up with your “worth”. Apparently, you are worth more if you are male rather than female (because men typically tend to make more money than women, but that’s a discussion for another day), if you have a healthier BMI, if you are within a youngish age range, and if you’re from a developed country. My calculated worth is $9.38 (I believe the highest is $10). Here’s my barcode:
The cool thing about this is that it actually works. You can make your barcode, print it off or get it put on a coffee mug, shirt or even just a sticker and take it to a grocery store and get it scanned. Their computer’s should show your worth. Click here to make your own barcode!
So this guy named Phillip DeFranco has a “show” on Youtube that he started a few years back. At first, it was just some random dude with a webcam ranting about rand0m things that are happening in the world. It’s a lot like what we did with our rants, except he does it 4 days a week. He’s picked up quite a following, and it’s still pretty much the same thing but now, he gets paid by Youtube to do this. He really is a very funny guy, with most of his humor of the self-deprecating/mildly mysogynistic variety. (Don’t worry girls, he only kidding. Sort of.) When I first started watching these, I really felt like his views (besides the sexism) were very similar to my own and thought he was hilarious, so I watch them all the time and they’re always good for a chuckle. Here is one of his recent shows:
(The clip he shows at the end is especially hilarious if you’re a little nerdy)
Warning: There may be some extended use of profanity/sexual references.
Who are you?
I am Jacob Carl Morrison, son of Howard Thurman and Jane Gabovitch Morrison, brother of Elysha Anne and Rachel Pauline Morrison, and friend to many. As you would be able to see if there were a time stamp on these blogs, I am a procrastinator. I’m a lover and I’m a sinner; I’m a joker, I’m a smoker, and I’m a midnight toker. (Just kidding about those last two) I very much enjoy my life and am very appreciative of all that I have received. As evidenced by my previous clarification, I live my life pretty strait-laced with a few exceptions. If you are actually reading this, then you probably have also come to the conclusion that I am a nerd, this is true. I love reading. although i don’t do as much of it as I’d like. I use waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many commas when I write, it’s a problem. I love sports, especially football. I’d like to think that I am my own man.
What do you want?
I never really find myself in need of anything, although there are plenty of things that I want. I want to be liked, and I hate knowing that someone doesn’t like me. I want to be able to figure out what I want to do with my life, because it seems like that’s what is expected of us these days. I want to be able to eat as many sour strawberry belts as I want without my stomach hurting. And I want my eyes to stop itching.
Where are you going?
I am going with the flow of life. My most immediate destination is bed, but well beyond that I have college and a career and family and hopefully some good excitement along the way.
Whom do you serve?
I serve myself (not like that you perv) by staying away from things that could hurt me and working hard towards my goals. I serve my parents by doing what is asked of me and spending time with them.
Whom do you trust?
I trust my family and a small group of my closest friends. I also trust my Kairos group.
I’m going to try something new: actually posting on my blog before 11 p.m. on Sunday. I don’t really have any idea what to talk about so I’m just going to ramble a lil. I was pretty excited when I first got on the class blog this week and saw that I was one of the blogs of the week. My post was about making the perfect bag of popcorn, if you haven’t seen it, then scroll down and check it out and comment. Ok the periods about to end but I’ll be back with more later.
Hello again, this is still a pretty early post for me, even though its 8 o’clock on Sunday night. Normally my posts are finished around 1 a.m the day they’re due, which today would feel like 2 wouldn’t it. Because of stupid daylight savings time. Don’t get me wrong, it is nice to be able to look out the window right now (it’s 7:52) and still see the last rays of sunlight peeking through the clouds, but that does not make up for the fact that I had to wake up a whole hour earlier to pick my sister up from sunday school. I really could’ve used that sleep. You see, my mental clock normally doesn’t allow me to go to sleep before 12:30 regardless of when I have to wake up in the morning. After 5 nights of 5-6 hours of sleep I need at least 10 hours a night on the weekend prefferably. So imagine my chagrin when my mom woke me up at 10 to pick my sister up at 12. Here’s how the conversation went:
Mom: Time to get ready to pick up your sister.
Me: uhhhhhhhhhh (that’s supposed to be a groan)%Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
Cache-Control: max-age=0
Mom: Wake up!
Me (looking at my clock): It’s only 10!
Mom: No it’s not, it’s 11.
Me: Look! It’s-ah screw daylight savings time.
I still fell back asleep and slept for another half hour but it was still inconvenient for my sleeping pattern. I’m feeling pretty tired now so goodnight everyone.
Hello there, fellow haffpintians. Greetings from casa Morrison. I just got done eating a delectable bag of popcorn that I prepared (expertly in my opinion) myself. As I was finishing off the last morsel, a genius thought popped into my head: why don’t I share my secret to the art of the pop, which has been passed down through 4 generations of Morrisons (albeit modified a bit to change with technology), with my classmates so that they will all be able to enjoy the same deliciousness I do. So here Papa Morrison’s method for the Perfect Pop* in 7 easy steps.
Step 1: Procure your popcorn. Everyone has their personal favorites. I happen to be a fan of Act II Butter Lovers myself.
Step 2: Disregard all instructions on popcorn bag. (except for the THIS SIDE UP label of course)
Step 3: Put bag in Microwave and press the popcorn setting. (if your microwave does not have a popcorn setting put at least 3 minutes on and disregard step 4. Just remember you never want your microwave to stop midpop, it screws everything up. It’s way better to have to much time then to little time.)
Step 4: This is key! When your microwave begins counting down from 30 seconds press the add 30 seconds button TWICE. There should now be about a minute thirty left. (If your popcorn setting doesn’t start counting down at 30 seconds or you don’t have an add 30 seconds button then go back to step 3)
Step 5: Now the bag instructions will tell you to wait until popping slows to one second intervals between pops, DO NOT BELIEVE THEM. Instead wait until there is at least a 1 Mississippi 2 Mississippi count in between each pop. Once you are able to count that long without hearing a pop stop the microwave and pull out your popcorn.
Step 6: Eat popcorn straight out of the bag to maximize heat retention and minimize grabby hands from others.
Step 7: Leave any dropped corns on the ground for dog to pick up.
All microwaves are different, if your popcorn doesn’t turn out perfect you either screwed up or your microwave sucks, it’s not my fault.
*”Perfect” is defined as 5 or less completely unpopped kernels and little to no hint of burnage.
Today I did something I’ve never ever done before in my life: I watched part of a hockey game on television. Now I went to a few Brebeuf hockey games as a freshman, but that was only becuase there was nothing else to do. Today I had so many other things I could be doing like homework, but i decided that I would turn on the boob tube and cheer my fellow countrymen onto victory against our dreaded breathren from up north. Alas, by the time I actually got around to the game there was only 5 minutes left in the 3rd period and we were down 1-2. Because my limited knowledge of how the game of hockey works told me that scoring is about as sparse as Britney Spears’ clothing in any of her music videos, my outlook for a favorable outcome to this game was very bleak. Amazingly, we scored with 25 second remaining in regulation, sending the game into overtime. Unfortunately, Sidney Crosby of Canada (who apparently is a really good hockey player), scored in the sudden death period to give the game to the Maple Syrup Makers. Still, it was a hard fought match and enjoed the half an hour i spent watching it.
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